Seemingly Love

Seemingly love, I guess that the best way to explain an emotion that one can hardly control. It's the pause after the call, with the one you once loved. It's the point when two have parted and one has lost the ability to say "How was your day". Truth be told, though path might no longer be one. I find it difficult to think that love can be lost. Though I might say avoidance is the closest thing to burying old love. With all this said, I don't think that if one has loved trully they can ever get over the love itself, but maybe the idea of together is easy to part with. That idea of growing grey with you, but I doubt that more can be given out of love. Infact I guess I can argue that "out of love" in it's true form does not exist perhaps "Out of the Us" is more appropriate.

I miss him to bits, and although a few weeks back I was caught inbetween the bond with the new born. I'm slowly realising that the truth is what matter most is the time and connection. I love them both and I have started to think of them as two individuals loved by their father whole heartedly. I have to admit it's tough to bond with the screaming and scratching. The protective fatherly role is actually hindered by development is cause. Nonetheless, it's moment that you will not want to miss cause once their goned there is no REWIND.

I'm loving this cause of love for it seemingly is nothing but love. The ability to catch the bullet for your flesh and know that nothing matters even the deadlines. You have arrived, you have found peace by just being. Being the best that you can only be. So from a father perspective I strive forth with nothing but the hope that they will look back and acknowledge that though is some aspects I might have not succeeded, as a Father I never stopped trying to do what I ought to do for them to succeed.

And so it will seem.....

And so it will seem, that times passes and all that a man cherish or once cherished dissapears right before his very eyes. To get that message that you thought you will never get, the sign of a women scorned the sign of love lost and no need to go back. But for a man will forever carry his head above his shoulders, we roll with the punches neck steadily out and await the weekend for the next round.

I love lyrics from Anthony Hamilton when he says, if he has loved before, it will be trully diffucult for him to love again or for the fear of a broken heart. What he does not say though is that we move on, with hearts filled with hidden treasure places of love. And for the next, it becomes a journey of tapping to love to get to that spot. I guess, this is your goodbye. Well for the records, my phone will remain on standby, even though I'm not going to let this life pass me by. For once, you were more than a dream to me, you were the driver of the dynasty and so long is this lullaby. I have let go, but doubt that I will ever say Goodbye.

Joy and Happiness be upon you, for you have given me the gift of life. You are trully an amazing mother. Yes this is about you Wawa.....and so it will seem life has taken another turn today.

Thee Unbearable Time

Tick tock, the sound representing the passing of time. And so it will seem that these tear drops seem to overflow every night. I grab my Sony Digital Camera and see the smile that is you. And it dawns to me that with every passing of time and each tear drop you will still be myne. I slowly turn my head left and right and left again with my face facing the pillow for a view towards the ceiling might make my mind wonder and tear will run down my face. So peacefully, I choose to lay with my stomach for a good night sleep and for the heart to mend.

A thought of you still keeps me up at night. I heard a story of finding balance by tapping into your origin and each day that passes it gets you closer to that moment but more importantly it becomes an anticipation for me to that day. These are the things that make me proud of being an African, the connection of soul and origins will be tracked through the seed line. For just like at the end of the rainbow lies a pot of gold, at the begginning of your journey my Son your father will await and should the valleys of life set two path for us. In your shadow I will forever exist and I hope you choose to remain grounded for that's a place I will choose to dwell on every step of the way. You are trully loved and continue to reflect God's blessing in my life.

Sidetable Connection

What a weekend, your brother is now just over a month old. Though he got me a bit scared this past Friday as I had to rush him to hospital. I wonder what the medical bill will state, as this was clearly a case of over protective parenting. But you know what they say better be safe than sorry. Spend the most part of the weekend indoors and reflecting on our pictures and you will be glad to know that yours remains by my bedside. It's the one with your big smile and me in a green stripe shirt.

I tried to call this weekend, been a while since I've spoken to you. Thought that she will be over the hurdle, but it seems I have to give her abit of time to get used to the path equalling no longer us. It's really a tough journey for me, but one thing remains in all of this. My love gets stronger with each passing moment, and you remain the symbol of my Joy. I'm really missing you and miss your smile and if anything, try to be a better man than you father.

I'm still striving towards a better me, and perhaps one day we will both reflect on these current times as triumphs in our journey. Respect and patience is key to being a better man and you can only achieve that if you humble yourself to the world. Live each day with a purpose and make your mark in your path, for it is through your journey that you will reap what you sow. Life is so rewarding and grab each and every opportunity, never be scared to fail for it's how we as human beings learn. But most importantly work on your ability to listen, for it will ensure that your greatness is achieved much sooner than anticipated or planned.

Ooopps, before I forget! I still look at your picture every morning and say a prayer for your continuous blessings and I know that Grace is forever upon you my child.

Memoirs of a Father

Yesterday I started scribbling on my notepad. This is really about the inspiration that you both bring to my life. You both remain more than what a father could have ever asked for, you are amazing and in your journey of life know that not even a single day passed without me thinking about you my sons.

The source of my ambition, the driver of my worldly desire my two son's the extension of my dynasty. The strength and light you both bring to my life is purely magical in essence. I hope that you both know that, although you are both unique individuals in my world you represent a rainbow the essence of my light. The key thing about your names is that it's intertwined, you are the seeds of the same plant in line with the rainbow. Your names are true testatement to that, Likhanye Lithalelanga meaning "Let light be in the sunrays" making you my sons one. I praise the day that you were brought to my life. You have been more than a blessing and if there is one thing that you ought to know about your father is that I love you both unconditionally. Go forth and make your mark in the world, for your are Lioness in this dynasty.